All Bargains Come At A Cost
Hi Everyone!
DISCLAIMER: Mentions of sexual abuse, sexual assault, child pornography, and child neglect.
Before we get into today’s recollection, I want to apologize for not posting yesterday. I was super sick and had to call out of work and I slept the whole day away. I had come surgery complications and needed to just get it fixed up really quick and now everything is all good!
Now back to the sad stuff. Today’s story will get into the part of our story where… needless to say… I question my own sanity. I know it is never the victim’s fault in these situations but… I can’t help but feel gross for what happened. For a brief backstory, remember Sam from a previous post? Well he is half the reason for what happened in this instance. Sam is an ex-boyfriend of mine from high school. We didn’t date for very long and it wasn’t a very memorable relationship. But after we had broken up, I was heading home and for some reason, I just didn’t want to go home alone. Neither of my parents were home but I still didn’t want to go home yet. The other half of the reason for this, was a guy that I honestly cant even remember his name. I guess we can just call him… Tyler. Tyler and I met online and long story short, he had convinced me to send him nude photos of me (as well as other ex-boyfriends of mine) and me being the person I am, always wanting to make people happy, sent them. I didn’t think anything of it, I just know that I felt pretty gross about doing it. One day, my mom, Bruce, and I went out to dinner and I forgot my phone in the car. I was going to go get it but Bruce offered to go grab it for me. I didn’t think anything of it so I let him. About 10 minutes went by before he came back into the restaurant which was weird because we had a parking spot really close to the door. This little moment will become MUCH more significant later in our story…
Back to the current story, so I decided to walk home from school, instead of taking the bus, with Sam. It was a short walk but when we got to my house, he decided to come inside and hang out for a little while. I knew Bruce was going to get home around 4 and my mom around 5:30 so we were safe for a little while. We ended up hanging out and one thing led to another and we were cuddling in my bed and my shirt was off. We weren’t doing anything dirty, my shirt just happened to be off for a reason I can’t seem to remember. It had only been about 20-30 minutes until my bedroom door sung open. I was panicking. Bruce walked in and Sam immediately sat up and I leaned over the bed trying to put a shirt on.
Bruce told Sam to leave and so he ran out and went home. As soon as the front door shut, Bruce told me to get out of bed and stand at the end of my bed. I had my arms crossed over my chest to cover myself and Bruce pulled out his phone. He told me to move my arms and I cried and begged him to just let me put a shirt on. He denied it and demanded that I open my arms in a T shape and let him take a picture of me to send to my mother to show her what he just found me doing. I begged him not to send it to her. As a child I was expected to be the perfect kid, and this was going to get around my family and make everyone hate me and make my life miserable… at least that’s what I believed at the time. He decided not to send it and instead decided we could bargain what my punishment should be instead…
His initial request was for mw to allow him to ejaculate on my naked chest while he recorded it on his phone. I immediately denied that. Then he told me about the time at that restaurant when he got my phone. He just happened to go through it and found all the pictures I had taken of myself. He said we could clear both of these issues by me letting him position me and take photos of me. I forget how many he wanted but I denied that as well. If anyone was going to take nudes of me, it would be me. I mentioned that and… I probably shouldn’t have…
We went back and forth for a few more minutes until eventually we had a final “agreement”… I had to take nude photos of myself, every day, 10 per day, for 5 days. Each one had to be in a different position; I had to “keep it interesting” as he said. Sick fuck. He said I had to send them to him by 5 pm (the time my mom gets home) every day, or else he was going to tell her everything he found and show her them all. So I did it… The only complication I had was on the last day. my mom came home super early and surprised both of us. She wanted to go to a mall in a city about an hour away. She dragged us out there and when we got there it was just after 5 pm… I was freaking out because I had just gotten home from school, didn’t have time or a chance to take them, and we were in the car for the last hour to get to this place my mom wanted to go to… he texted me and told me to go to the bathroom as soon as we get inside and take them. But of course, that didn’t exactly go well either. My mom also had to go to the bathroom so she was in the stall two down from me when I was taking these last ten photos for her husband to use against me…
I sent the last ten and then deleted all the history of our conversations and the photos off my phone. I wanted to just push it away and try to move on… little did I know, he wouldn’t. Months went by. Things were normal. He wasn’t coming into my room at night anymore, he wasn’t being weird, things were finally dying down… or so I thought. My mom and I were leaving to go to the store and she forgot her wallet or something. She asked me to go back inside and get it. Now, Bruce had his computer set up directly in line of the front door. That’s just where it was for some reason. So when I opened the door, him sitting at his computer was the first thing I saw… except it wasn’t all I saw. I had walked in on him… pleasuring himself… to my pictures… I grabbed her wallet and ran right out. Went back to the car and was just frozen in shock and disgust of what I just saw. My mom noticed and asked what was wrong. I told her what he was doing but not about it being to me. She called him as we drove to the store and basically just told him to do it in the bathroom or somewhere not out in the open and at least let us get down the road before he starts.
Another few months go by and I guess Bruce starts growing a conscience. He called me to his computer when my mom wasn’t home from work yet and he pulls up all the photos I sent him. INCLUDING the ones from my phone when he went to get it at the restaurant!!! The whole reason he took so long to come back in, was because he was sending them to HIMSELF and the deleting the messages. So he pulls up all these naked photos of me and he says, “Look, I know what you did was wrong, but I also know what I did was wrong. So let’s just forget this all happened and move forward.” and he selects all the photos… drags them into the trashcan icon… and then opens the can, and empties it… permanently deleting them from his computer… to make matters even worse for me legality wise, months later, he gets a new gaming laptop and so instead of just selling his old computer like a normal person, he goes into the backyard, drags me along with him to watch, and drills, smashes, and shatters the hard drive of the laptop that had my photos on it. All my evidence… gone forever…
Not to end on a sad note but that’s the end of this part of our story… next post will make you question everything you believe in and lose faith in city programs… so just prepare yourself for that now…
Rise Above,
Phoenix