Hi! Me again 😊
DISCLAIMER: Mentions of drug use, alcoholism, divorce, sexual assault, child abuse, and child neglect.
Just wanted to pop in and give you some more insight to me… who I am and where I come from. I was born in Virginia with both of my parents still married. My father had a drug and alcohol problem when I was growing up, but I was way too young to know or understand it. All I knew, is that he was an angry drunk. As far as I know, this is the biggest factor that led to my parents divorcing when I was about 6/7 years old.
The divorce was messy, as are most, but that didn’t stop me from enjoying my life. I had a great family, great friends, and great education. I went to a catholic school (remember this, it gets brought up later) for most of my education. Over the next few years, my mother dated a few people but none of them really stuck around. It was when I was 9 years old that she reconnected with her high school obsession (not crush, OBSESSION) and they hit it off. We will call him Bruce for privacy reasons.
Bruce was an interesting man with an interesting past. He was in the military when I met him and he had done some pretty cool stuff during his service. He had two kids of his own too, which got me really excited to have siblings, only issue was, they were many years older than me. We had NOTHING in common. His kids came from his first wife. I'm not exactly sure what happened with them but they ended up divorcing as well when the kids were very young. He then remarried to this other girl who I know absolutely nothing about, she’s not important to our story. They divorced as well so... needless to say he had bad luck with women. Makes more sense why later on. Then into the picture came my mom, third time's a charm right...?
Things were going well with them so my mom decided to move us in with him and then soon after, they got married. Not even a year later, he retired from the military. Now, you would think that prior military service, full-term service might I add, would look great on a resume… well turns out it wasn’t. He really struggled to find a job he liked. For about 2/3 years I think he was trying to figure his life out. During this time, he also was struggling financially and he want able to pay the mortgage or other bills from what I know now. They ended up filing for bankruptcy and it was really hard on them. This was when things started to get weird…
I noticed Bruce coming into my room late at night. Originally, as a child who was about 9/10 at the time, I figured he was just checking on me a tucking me in. At least that’s what it started as… over the next few months things got really weird really fast. I noticed him pulling away the covers rather than putting them back on me. I started to notice him reaching at me to touch my chest. I would wake up to feeling his hands on me and I was frozen in fear. I didn’t know nor understand what was going on or what exactly he was doing. Remember how I said I was in catholic school? They never teach sex ed or how to protect yourself from sexual situations. The most we were ever given in school was “Sex is bad! Don’t do it!” and nothing more. With my catholic background I had no idea what was going on. All I knew was, I was uncomfortable and I didn’t like what he was doing.
This went on about once/twice a week for years… until I was 11 years old. I tried to stop it by… actually, I think I’ll save that story for another post. This post is already getting kinda long. Talk to y'all soon. ❤️